CAT (CT) Scan Update

Last Tuesday was an encouraging day...the results from my blood work indicated that my liver enzyme levels were back to normal (they were originally dangerously high back in April when this all began) and the results from the CT Scan showed a 30-40% reduction in mass size with just two rounds of chemotherapy.

I was extremely nervous going into the appointment...so it was nice getting some good news!  Especially after being bombarded the past two months and trying to wrap my mind around this whole cancer diagnosis/new journey in my life.

As my oncologist said, the CT Scan showed "stellar" results.  Keeping my fingers crossed for the remaining cycles, having hope and choosing to live.

Dawn Berlynn

Vision Board Project

I recently finished reading a wonderful book titled "Choose To Live (Our Journey From Late Stage Cancer To Vibrant Health)"....several phrases/passages resonated with me including the following:

• "When life and death are placed before us, we are to choose life.  By that, I do not mean merely to try to avoid dying, but to choose to live a meaningful life involving us in a demonstration of our love for ourselves and others.  When we live that way, our body knows we love our life.  It then does all it can to sustain us, heal our afflictions and wounds, and keep us healthy."
• "Hope is necessary for survival."
• "Whatever the mind can conceive and believe, it can achieve."  ~Napoleon Hill
• "Hope comes from daring to believe in miracles.  Daring to believe that you are worthy of one."

After reading the book, it then spurred me to finish something that has been on my never ending to-do list....create my very own vision board.

For those of you who have never heard of such a thing, "A vision board is a simple yet powerful visualization tool that activates the universal law of attraction to begin manifesting your dreams into reality.  The concept of the vision board (also known as a goal board/goal map) has been around for generations, but it’s gained a renewed interest and popularity after success expert John Assaraf related his story of using vision boards to achieve his dreams in the best-selling book and DVD documentary The Secret (also viewed by millions on Oprah)."

"A vision board is simply a visual representation or collage of the things that you want to have, be, or do in your life. The purpose of a vision board is to activate the law of attraction to begin to pull things from your external environment that will enable you to realize your dream.  By selecting pictures and writing that charges your emotions with feelings of passion, you will begin to manifest those things into your life."

The theme around my vision board was "Choose To Live" and "Hope".

Peace, Love & Miracles

My Vision Board ~ Hope, Miracles, Believing and Choosing to Live

Second Round of Chemo Update ~ Memorial Day

I fortunately seem to be tolerating my chemotherapy treatments well.  After this past infusion, I only felt bad for two days and that was only due to my white blood cell injection.  I received an injection of Neulasta - which stimulates the bone marrow and promotes the growth of white blood cells called neutrophils in your body.  Unfortunately, one common side effect is severe bone pain....and sure enough I felt achey for a couple of days.

None the less, I was only on my chemo meds for 5 days and will be med-free for 17 days prior to the start of my third chemo round (one extra week of being med-free when comparing it to my first chemo round)!

Next Monday I go in for a CAT scan to see what progress has been made with just two rounds of chemotherapy.  Keeping my fingers crossed!  As of now, our plan is to undergo six rounds of chemotherapy, with a CAT scan performed after every two rounds.  My third round of chemo begins next week, so I will be at the hospital every day (due to the scan, three days of chemo treatments, and then fluids/another possible WBC injection).

Many people have asked what happens after the six chemotherapy treatments....if needed, we plan to consult with the top neuroendocrine cancer specialists in the United States (possible consulations include:  Johns Hopkins Hospital in Maryland, Dana-Farber Cancer Institute in Boston, Cedars-Sinai Hospital in NYC, MD Anderson Cancer Center in Houston, a liver transplant specialist, Mayo Clinic in Minnesota, etc...).

For now, I am just taking it day by day and living by my oncologist's words regarding his take on how I will respond to chemotherapy...."you will respond beautifully!"

Peace, Love & Miracles

Memorial Day Parade ~ New Wig

Second Round of Chemotherapy

Round two is now complete!  I am feeling much better this time around....still a bit sleepy, but nothing compared to the first round.  Will wait and see how this weekend goes, but so far I have been more active and have only taken cat naps during my treatments.  Thinking it may have to do with having a better understanding of all my meds (what works and what doesn't).

I received fluids and a white blood cell injection this morning (to stimulate new white blood cell growth) and I am now off for two weeks!  Finished the afternoon in the city by pampering myself with a Reiki (energy healing) massage.  Trying to do anything and everything to balance my mind/body connection.

Thank you for the continued thoughts and prayers.  I am truly blessed.

Shaving Party

My (last) Saturday evening in a nutshell:

• Donating some beautiful hair to some special little girl out there.
• 4.5 hour process of donating ponytails, getting short haircuts, shaving my head and finally styling my new wig.
• My dear friend Karen supplied a beach scented candle, wine, chips/dips, upbeat music and encouraging support that meant the world to me.  
• Although an emotional evening, there was much more laughter than tears and I was surprisingly strong through the whole process.  Thanks to Karen, she kept me smiling and distracted, especially when her scarf caught on fire...luckily it wasn't my new wig! 

The next day I was a bit more insecure and was fearful of how the boys would react....despite them cutting a strand of curls the night before they went to bed.  To my surprise, Zevy greeted me with the most beautiful accepting smile and is now calling me "Boozer" from the Chicago Bulls.  Perfectly okay with me since he is my favorite player.  :)  Cohen on the other hand, is still adjusting...he wants my "old hair back," and prefers when I have my wig on.

Nonetheless, I find myself going "au natural" most of the time at home.  I think it is a good lesson to teach the boys that beauty comes from within...it should be recognized as something other than a person's appearance.

Physical beauty is temporary for all of us, but the beauty inside of our hearts is eternal.

To cutting old memories off and beginning a new chapter in my life.

Peace, Love & Miracles,
Dawn Berlynn

Styling my curls one last time!

Bald and Beautiful

Portraits from our family vacation in May

"Faith is taking the first step, even when you don't see the whole staircase." 
             ~Martin Luther King, Jr.

Peace, Love & Miracles

Beach Therapy

We just returned from a relaxing and loved-filled (9 day) family vacation.  The beach, warm weather and being surrounded by loved ones definitely soothed my soul....and I cherished every moment of it.

I am physically feeling great (like I am not even "sick") and have been medicine free for the last five days!  Hoping this is how every chemo round will be (difficult for the first five days and then better and better each day after). 

I go in for blood work and fluids tomorrow....and then next week I begin my second round of chemo.

Peace, Love & Miracles

Papa and the boys

Dawn & Kevin

Dad & Dawn